If the title of this article caught your eye, then it’s likely that your spouse just doesn’t “get” the whole entrepreneur/ home business thing you’ve got going on.
It may even be causing problems with your marriage, especially if you’ve decided to jump in with both feet.
Fortunately for me I was lucky, and Ann caught the entrepreneurial bug on her own…basically as a result of her discouragement from working 60 plus hours a week in her concrete prison cell, in the middle of New York City’s concrete jungle as a management consultant.
However being in the industry that we’re in, we actually meet the people that we do business with on a personal level.
More often than not it’s one half of the couple who is interested in being their own boss, while the other isn’t as thrilled with the idea.
The reasons for this vary, but for the most part you can whittle it down to a few common denominators. It’s important to know these factors so that you can empathize with your spouse about them, and be able to come up with some sort of deal that doesn’t negatively affect the marriage.
First of all there’s the comfort zone factor. Let’s face it, people just don’t like to be out of their comfort zone, and when you start getting these “crazy” ideas in your head about working from home, being your own boss…your spouse may very well think that you’ve become certifiable.
The reason is that they have been raised and conditioned to think in the employment mindset their entire lives…and anything outside of that paradigm scope is just not rational in their minds.
So the comfort factor begins to raise the fear factor. This fear factor is essentially the fear of losing security.
You see, most in our society live and die by feeling secure. They feel like if they have a job to go to everyday that they’ll always have that job. They also think that this is the only way to generate an income, so when talk of quitting jobs starts coming into play they sort of panic.
That’s natural, because insecurity really puts you out of your comfort zone.
Little do they realize though, especially in this economy is that security is ephemeral and is about as real as the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Basically all jobs are now created on a foundation of quicksand.
So there you have it. In essence when you start getting bright eyed and bushy-tailed with your entrepreneurial thoughts…your spouse basically wants to crawl into a hole somewhere.
You’re taking them out of their comfort zone, which leads to fear and insecurity.
This usually causes a huge uproar simply because entrepreneurial spouse doesn’t “get” why their spouse is so upset and what’s going through their minds. You (the entrepreneur) take it as an insult and a lack of support, when what it really is, is a deep seeded emotion… hard-wired from years of conditioning.
Now that you may understand the thought process that your spouse is going through, you can now take steps to address these thoughts with more patience and understanding. You can also dive in at a pace that makes your spouse more comfortable.
The bottom line however is that you HAVE TO live your own dreams and do what suits you best as well. So there does come a time when there MUST be a compromise. Whether it’s a deal breaker or not is up to you, and the emphasis you put on your marriage. I’m not here to be a marriage counselor.
Hopefully this little bit of understanding that I’ve provided you will go a long way in easing a lot of un-needed pain and suffering.
It may even be causing problems with your marriage, especially if you’ve decided to jump in with both feet.
Fortunately for me I was lucky, and Ann caught the entrepreneurial bug on her own…basically as a result of her discouragement from working 60 plus hours a week in her concrete prison cell, in the middle of New York City’s concrete jungle as a management consultant.
However being in the industry that we’re in, we actually meet the people that we do business with on a personal level.
More often than not it’s one half of the couple who is interested in being their own boss, while the other isn’t as thrilled with the idea.
The reasons for this vary, but for the most part you can whittle it down to a few common denominators. It’s important to know these factors so that you can empathize with your spouse about them, and be able to come up with some sort of deal that doesn’t negatively affect the marriage.
First of all there’s the comfort zone factor. Let’s face it, people just don’t like to be out of their comfort zone, and when you start getting these “crazy” ideas in your head about working from home, being your own boss…your spouse may very well think that you’ve become certifiable.
The reason is that they have been raised and conditioned to think in the employment mindset their entire lives…and anything outside of that paradigm scope is just not rational in their minds.
So the comfort factor begins to raise the fear factor. This fear factor is essentially the fear of losing security.
You see, most in our society live and die by feeling secure. They feel like if they have a job to go to everyday that they’ll always have that job. They also think that this is the only way to generate an income, so when talk of quitting jobs starts coming into play they sort of panic.
That’s natural, because insecurity really puts you out of your comfort zone.
Little do they realize though, especially in this economy is that security is ephemeral and is about as real as the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Basically all jobs are now created on a foundation of quicksand.
So there you have it. In essence when you start getting bright eyed and bushy-tailed with your entrepreneurial thoughts…your spouse basically wants to crawl into a hole somewhere.
You’re taking them out of their comfort zone, which leads to fear and insecurity.
This usually causes a huge uproar simply because entrepreneurial spouse doesn’t “get” why their spouse is so upset and what’s going through their minds. You (the entrepreneur) take it as an insult and a lack of support, when what it really is, is a deep seeded emotion… hard-wired from years of conditioning.
Now that you may understand the thought process that your spouse is going through, you can now take steps to address these thoughts with more patience and understanding. You can also dive in at a pace that makes your spouse more comfortable.
The bottom line however is that you HAVE TO live your own dreams and do what suits you best as well. So there does come a time when there MUST be a compromise. Whether it’s a deal breaker or not is up to you, and the emphasis you put on your marriage. I’m not here to be a marriage counselor.
Hopefully this little bit of understanding that I’ve provided you will go a long way in easing a lot of un-needed pain and suffering.
“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it.”
Be the best you can be….every day!
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